Update time

Just letting everyone know that you can now listen to the NBA draft podcast. We record just over 3 hours during the first round and cut it down to just over 19 minuets of goodness. You'll get to hear Loren, Chris, Philipp, and I talk about the first 13 picks of the draft and the Bayless trade. Short version all of us love it.

The new schedule is out for the show. It's pretty much the same except that we've been added to Tuesdays at 10pm on Channel 11, which will allow more folks to watch.

Now on to some NBA news, the Blazers rivals (and I call them that loosely since I never really witnessed anything that looked like a rivalry) to the north will e moving. The Seattle Sonics will leave and go to Oklahoma City in a move that everyone knew was going to happen. We'll talk a bit about it on the next show airing July 9. Let us know if you have any questions.

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First Annual PMS Mock Draft

Yes indeed, for your viewing pleasure we are proud to present our NBA mock draft!

Here were the ground rules. Derek, myself, and two of our NBA whore friends, Philipp and Chris, drew names out of a hat to determine the order in which...we would draw teams out of a hat.

Hey, we're nothing if not thorough.

We drafted for the first 16 teams, giving each of us 4 picks in the draft. Trades were allowed as long as all 4 managers agreed that it was a reasonable trade (or were beaten down until they accepted it). Managers were instructed to draft/trade in the manner they would if they were the real GM for that team. This means you'll see an exceptional trade pulled off by Minnesota which would never happen in real life (see Kevin McHale).

Along with the pick you'll see some commentary by the drafter and the other GMs.

Without further ado, The Draft!
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#1 Chicago (Derek) - Derrick Rose

Derek says, "How could I not pick a guy obviously named after me? OK, sure, when Loren wrote this up he spelled Derrick Rose’s name wrong but as the song goes “it’s hard out there for a pimp.” Rose is the obvious choice for the Bulls. He has the best overall game of any prospect and looks like a stronger Chris Paul. Or is that a quicker Deron Williams? Heck, either way the Bulls got lucky in the lottery and get the best player."

Loren says, "Derek correcting me on my spelling? Did hell just freeze over? Wait, Danny Ainge did win Executive of the Year..."


#2 Memphis (Chris) - Michael Beasley

Originally belonging to Miami, they traded down to the 5 spot (then subsequently down to the 7, but we'll get their later) in a deal with Memphis. In addition to swapping first rounders, Miami sends Blount and Memphis sends Mike Miller and Darko.

Chris says, "After trading Gasol, Memphis needed to draft a big scorer, so they couldn’t pass trading up to the #2 pick to ensure being able to pick Beasley or Rose. They had to give up Mike Miller and Darko along with the deal. In return, they received Blount as a comparable alternative to Darko, and the scoring capability of Beasley.

Derek says, "Perhaps the easiest choice in the draft. Memphis trades up and gets the best offensive talent there is and fills a major need. Rudy Gay might be a heck of a player but he should not be a team's offensive leader. Beasley should be and Gay will be a great all around compliment to him."

Loren says, "I agree with Chris, but have to point out that Memphis is now without a single SG on their roster and no other legit scoring threat. Beasley better get ready for a heaping helping of double teams and paint crowding."


#3 Bucks (Derek) - OJ Mayo

Bucks swap picks with Minnesota. Additionally, Minny sends Antoine Walker, Marco Jaric, and Craig Smith. Bucks send Michael Redd and a protected future first round draft pick.

Derek says, "I made this trade for a few reasons:
1. I did not like anyone at #8 for this team.
2. While I like Redd a lot I felt that his salary was way too much for this team.
3. By getting Walker I will drop almost 8 million from my payroll next year.
4. Craig Smith gives some actual muscle down low. Much tougher than Bogut and Gadzuric.

Now saying that, yes, I had to take back Jaric in order to get #3.

I picked Mayo because of his all around game, by far the second best all around player, he can replace Redd by scoring inside and out and is by far a better defender already."

Philipp (Minnesota GM) says, "The Bucks are cutting payroll a little bit and getting back a top 3 talent and a work horse in Craig Smith. Not a bad price, but if you’re losing a former All-Star and current Olympian for an unproven player, you better hope he pans out."

Loren says, "WTF?!?! This is the trade that I nearly had to veto. Here's the net result of this trade...Minnesota gets Redd, this year's #8, and a future first rounder. Bucks get Jaric, Smith, Walker and Mayo. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! Minnesota gets an All-Star SG with a great attitude and two first round draft picks for a one and done attitude problem and cap space. Maybe I'm just bitter because I ended up with #9, #11, #14, and #15."


#4 Seattle (Derek) - Russell Westbrook

Derek says, "I was hammered on when I made this pick. I think the first two quotes that came out were 'I don’t like this pick.' from both Loren and Chris. So I’m sure they will rag on me pretty good. But the Sonics or what ever they will be called next season already have a scorer in Durant and an all around player in Green. This gives them a defensive presence on the perimeter (Seattle was the 4th worst defensive team in the league) and a spot up scorer."

Chris says, "Seattle will fill a major void from last season by drafting Westbrook. While he won’t put up large numbers on offense, Westbrook will strengthen their perimeter defense which allowed a very high 106 points per game. This won’t significantly improve the team, which is beyond repair in my opinion."

Loren says, "Since Chris went easy on Derek, I'll pick up the slack. Unless Seattle moves players this makes little sense. Westbrook isn't a pure PG and I see him struggling to get the ball to Durant. So they don't give up 106 per game...they also won't score more than 86 with that squad. The real need here was for a player that could take some pressure off Durant, and Jerryd Bayless would have been a much better option. Speaking of which..."


#5 Clippers (Philipp) - Jerryd Bayless

Belonging to Miami after the trade, they swap picks again with Clippers at #7. Clippers send Brand and Brevin Knight, Miami sends Marion.

Philipp says, "Their top needs were any upgrade to either guard position. By moving down, they were able to snag one of the best guard prospects in the draft, Jerryd Bayless. By moving Brand, who may opt out to go elsewhere anyways, they get one of the best SF in the league in Marion. Marion is an expiring contract, so they will have the flexibility to test him out. Marion left Phoenix because he wanted to be the man. He would instantly be that for the Clippers."

Chris says, "What’s not to like about Bayless? He plays up-tempo basketball, and he comes from a great college program in Arizona, which historically always knows how to find PGs who make significant impacts in the NBA. Did I mention he can shoot?"

Derek says, "First, I have to say I like all the trades Philipp made today. Bayless should be a great scorer and a descent distributor in the league. The Clippers would have a great fast break team."

Loren says, "Holy crap. Now that's a pick. Bayless will have the Clips back to running up and down the floor. Suddenly Livingston's injury doesn't seem so devastating. Picture this lineup: Bayless, Maggette, Marion, Thornton, Kaman. Yikes!"


#6 Warriors (Loren) - DJ Augustin

Warriors swap picks with Knicks. Warriors send Baron Davis, Knicks send Marbury.

Loren says, "First off, I got hosed. My picks were the #9, #11, #14, and #15. So, yes, there was an air of desperation as I tried to make a splash in our first annual mock draft. However, I really do think this is a good deal. D'Antoni jumps at the chance to get a player the caliber of Baron Davis. Marbury could thrive in the Warriors system but if not, well, he's more than 19 mil in expiring contract (3 mil more than Baron's). Augustin is the best pure PG in this draft. He controls the ball, doesn't get flustered, and will greatly enhance the execution of GS's running attack. "

Derek says, "Loren got to trade up here by giving up Baron Davis. For face value he got the short end of the stick, but if you look at it I would assume the Warriors were not going to try to resign Marbury. Now I like Augustin but I think this is a bit high for him. He is a small guard and I’m not sure if he will be able to play D against the other PG in the West. But then again Don Nelson is the coach so defense really should not come in to play."

Chris says, "Will fill the void left by Baron Davis. He can shoot and pass the ball (he averaged 6.2 assists per game at Texas). He may struggle in the turnover department for a few years, so be a little patient."


#7 Miami (Philipp) - Eric Gordon

Miami traded down, first with Memphis then with the Clippers. Players gained: Eric Gordon, Elton Brand, Mike Miller, Brevin Knight, and Darko. Players lost: Marion and Blount.

Philipp says, "Their top needs were a backcourt mate with Wade, shooters, and interior scoring. They filled their needs by losing the #2 pick and Marion for a backcourt mate in Eric Gordon, a dead eye shooter in Mike Miller, and their key interior score in Elton Brand. Ironically, they also get their hands on former number 2 pick Darko. With Miami, they are either thinking rebuild or retool. Memories of winning the championship are still there, they have Wade, why not take a shot at making another run? If Brand doesn’t pan out, he’s an expiring contract that could net them somebody else. But looking at this roster, they would be at least top 4 in the East."

Derek says, "Another trade for Philipp, call him little KP. He does say “Pritchslapped” all the time. This time he got the last guard in this draft that has a chance of being a star. Gordon could a be a bucket filler in no time. Miami would have two combo type guards so we would have to wait and see how that turns out."

Loren says, "If you look above at players gained/lost...it becomes clear that some team needs to hire Philipp as a GM right now. Miami goes from a lame duck to an Eastern Conference contender as long as Wade and Brand stay healthy. Next year's Celtics?"


#8 Minnesota (Philipp) - Brook Lopez

Minessota traded down with the Bucks. See pick #3 for details.

Philipp says, "Their top needs were a frontcourt mate with Al Jefferson and somebody to kick out to for double teams. They already had an adequate point guard in Foye. What they lacked is somebody who can consistently hit an outside shot and Redd fits that bill. Minnesota also gets a decent sidekick to Al Jefferson with Brook Lopez. He is a perfect compliment to Jefferson because Lopez would do all the dirty work. Love was available but the thought of two undersize frontcourt starters wasn’t too appealing."

Derek says, "Possibly the best pick up in this draft after #1 and #2 for an actual team. Lopez had been rumored to go to Minnesota at #3, but they drop back, pick up a future #1, and get a great compliment to Al Jefferson."

Loren says, "Jefferson isn't so much of a defensive liability now that Lopez is patrolling the middle. It helps that he should be an adequate scorer, too. The addition of Redd creates a logjam with McCants, but if either one can slide to the SF slot, you have the makings of a competitive team."


#9 Charlotte (Loren) - Jason Thompson

Loren says, "Hoo boy, I got roasted for this one. I'm not going to go out of my way to defend this pick...

Wait a second, yes I am! Jason Thompson is a 4 year player with high basketball IQ. He's a legitimate presence inside and he and Okafor can play both C and PF giving Charlotte a big tandem in the middle. Thompson will produce immediately (he averaged a double double the last two seasons with almost 3 blocks per game). His ability to score opens the floor for Jason Richardson and Gerald Wallace. The knock is that he doesn't have upside. You know why? Because he's figured out how to reach his potential by staying in school for 4 years. This is Larry Brown's kind of player and he'll make teams look foolish for drafting "upside" ahead of him."

Philipp says, "I’ve always been against drafting for need in the lottery. I’m not saying not draft for need, move yourself in position and pick up another asset. Charlotte could have traded down to pick up Thompson and pick up another draft pick."

Derek says, "This pick had to be the most fun for the other GM’s. Loren was seriously debating taking Kevin Love despite the fact that Loren thinks he’s over rated (I do too). It was great watching him fret about it. I’m sure he did not pick Love here because of the hard time we would have given him if he did (note: I didn't take Love because I couldn't stomach sending him to the same team the took Adam Morrison). So he ended up picking Jason Thompson. He has little up side and is what he is. But he can provide Charlotte with a low post presence just like Okafor, just a little bit better scorer. In the real world you could trade down about 6 to 10 spots and still get him."


#10 Nets (Philipp) - Kevin Love

Philipp says, "Top needs: interior scoring while keeping the cap space plan for 2010. They are pretty set in the PG, SG, and SF position in Harris, Carter, and Jefferson. It’s a pleasant surprise that Kevin Love dropped down for them to snatch up at #10. They would still look to move Jefferson to clear some cap space to make a run at JayZ’s boy in LeBron in 2010 but by taking Love, they compete in the East."

Derek says, "LO’s own goes off the board at #10. Pretty good for a big white guy who can pass and make open shots. Philipp made this pick because the Nets needs pigs, sorry bigs."


#11 Pacers (Loren) - Mario Chalmers

Loren says, "Drafting for Indy was hard. We chose to draft according to the existing roster and exclude the trade rumours of O'Neal for Ford and Nesterovic. In that case, what need do you address? SF, SG, and C are all satisfied (if you believe the reports that O'Neal's knee is healthy). PF and PG are the real needs and I chose to address the engine instead of the muscle. I think Mario Chalmers will develop into a better shooting version of Rajon Rondo. He's a defensively sound 3 year player from a major school and he knows how to win games."

Philipp says, "Would Mario Chalmers be a lottery pick if he didn’t hit “the shot.” I think he is late first round talent."

Derek says, "Loren making another strange pick, Chalmers will be an OK back-up in this league. The Pacers need a real PG. I’ll assume Loren is going for the O’Neil/Ford trade. Then again I’m not sure who will play down low for them."


#12 Sacramento (Chris) - Joe Alexander

Chris says, "Sacramento really needed to draft a PG (so does most everyone else) but having the #12 pick really hurt them. That, and they really didn’t have the pieces to put together a draft day trade that would have given them a higher pick. With that out of the way, they have the most exciting player in this draft in that Alexander has so much potential with his raw athletic abilities. It won’t be long, in my opinion, before Sacramento fans realize what they have."

Philipp says, "Good pick up here for Sac-town. Now they can move Artest and upgrade the PG."


#13 Portland (Chris) - Danilo Gallinari

Chris says, "Portland would have liked to have this pick dealt in some kind of trade, but most likely the trade would have been very complicated. Galinari will fit in nicely with the way this team is heading in the European direction, but do they really need this guy? The answer is no. I think Sacramento stole their best chance for a sleeper pick, so I’m not sure Galinari will be a Blazer for much longer."

Derek says, "Galinari would have fallen further if Loren did not open his trap, but here he is. The guy has top 8 talent and can be stashed for Portland. Great get if Portland picks at #13, which they won’t."

Philipp says, "I’m disappointed that the Blazers didn’t move anything. However, they’re bringing in two dynamic and proven Euros. I think Portland has way too many SF and will have to move them out. I say they move Galinari and Jack and look for Kirk Hinrich, Devin Harris, or Andre Miller."

Loren says, "It's always fun to predict what Derek is praying for then dash his dreams. Besides, the Knicks would have taken him with their next pick if the Blazer's didn't. Gallinari will be a top 10 pick so there is no chance he's here for the Blazers. But assuming he's a Blazer for mock draft purposes, he's exactly what we need to find out just what we can get from Outlaw and Martell. If he outperforms them, we shop them. If they outperform Gallinari, we shop Gallinari. It's a win/win situation."


#14 Knicks (Chris) - Brandon Rush

Chris says, "By trading with Golden State to acquire Baron Davis, the Knicks find an awesome solution to their PG troubles. They would have liked to draft a young promising star to mix with their veterans, but by pick #6, their best opportunities with Bayless and Westbrook were already taken. The Knicks will also lessen some of their payroll by getting rid of Marbury’s contract, but it is up in the air whether their defense will be improved this season."

Philipp says, "Smart pick here. He’ll fit well with Coach Mike."

Derek says, "One of the best players in the draft for the Knicks, he will defer to the players on the Knicks that need the ball and can play in D’Antoni’s game."

Loren says, "I feel bad for Rush. Getting stuck on this team is not the way to start your career. However, you get a feeling that management and the coach are ready to shake things up a bit and Rush is a the best possible combination of talent and character you can find with this pick. He fits a need for the current team and he'd be a Knick long after many of the current players are gone."


#15 Phoenix (Loren) - Kosta Koufos

Loren says, "Since all the PGs have been snapped up and there's no SGs left to gamble on this early in the draft, you take your next most pressing need. That just happens to be a big man to take the place of Shaq when his back and knee simultaneously blow out next year (resulting in an earthquake that levels half of Phoenix). Koufos is skilled but inexperience is a concern."

Philipp says, "Nice stab for talent and need here in the middle of the draft. At least they kept the pick and didn’t sell it."

Derek says, "Loren’s best pick of the draft. First you think. "Tall white guy on the Suns?" But, remember, Terry Porter is running things now and they need solid big man in the middle to spell Shaq and replace him in a year or two."


#16 76ers (Derek) - Anthony Randolph

Derek says, "Dang, Loren took my pick with Koufos. Oh well, Philly needs more of an inside presence and they have time to grow so I picked up Anthony Randolph who can learn some O from AI and some D from Dalembert. Put some muscle on this guy and he’ll be OK."

Philipp says, "Quite the gamble but could be a steal. Reminds me of Tyrus Thomas in that he is an absolute unproven player but loads of potential."

Loren says, "This dude scares me, and not in a good way. The comparison that Philipp made to Tyrus Thomas is appropriate and should cause any real GM to run far far away. I think Philly wants a contributor now to make a playoff run next year. Unfortunately for them, I don't see that piece at this point in the draft. Darrell Arthur is the other option."

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Congratulations on making it all the way through our mock draft. To answer your question; no, there is no way you can get those 15 minutes back. That will teach you to read our blog.

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Welcome to PMS!

Good day and welcome to the PMS (Portland Men on Sports) blog.

If you haven't tuned in, our half hour TV show by the same name can been seen on your local Comcast public access stations.

This is my first post so let's make it a doozy. During our last episode, we informed you we would be posting our extended list of Blazer grades. My grades are based on a production to potential ratio unless otherwise noted. So without further ado...

Brandon Roy: solid A
Reigning rookie of the year, all-star, and team leader all by the end of his second tour of the league. Don't get your knickers in a bunch, people, the injury concerns are overblown. He hasn't had protection in the form of a legitimate inside presence and teams have been muscling him. Next year he'll have some protection and, hopefully, a team that uses its weapons to create more space for him. Sheesh, you'd think with all the fuss that we've been burned by injuries to a high draft pick before...
-- Homework: Be the guy. Aldridge isn't now, and probably won't ever consistently be, the guy. This means it falls to you. You have the skills and leadership, now let that killer instinct come through. Be the player other teams fear. The one they know is going to put the nail in their coffin. Also, free throws. Yeah, work on those pretty please.

LaMarcus Aldridge: B+
LA has added several offensive moves to his repertoire. While consistently hitting the 10-15 foot jumper, he's also been deadly with that sweet mini-hook we've seen. It's too bad we can't pry Kareem from the Lakers organization to work with Aldridge; the thought alone turns me into a drooling Homer Simpson caricature. Rebounding has improved
-- Homework: The Blazers and Aldridge need to make a decision; finesse or power? Yeah, he could be both, but that's much harder to mold. I'd like to see Aldridge back his opponent down and bully him but maybe that's just not his game. If we can get reliable minutes and contribution from Oden then we don't have any worries, finesse away. But if Oden doesn't come back (I just threw up in my mouth) then Aldridge is going to have to fill the toughness gap. He could be Tim Duncan with an attitude, or he could be Chris Webber. I'll take either one, but which one would you prefer? Me, too.

Travis Outlaw: B
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your outlook, Travis has developed the mentality I'm looking for Roy to exhibit. Travis wants the shot for the win, he wants the run-stopper, the run-starter, the "let's blow the roof of the Rose Garden" dagger. And for the most part he's delivered. Travis' best weapon is his athleticism, which he can use to recover from his mistakes (See steals: Kobe Bryant).
-- Homework: Travis' worst crutch is his athleticism, which he has used instead of developing ball handling skills, really solid defense, and a more varied offensive arsenal. For now he can just elevate over defenders and get his shot off. One knee injury or 5 years in the league will see that ability diminish or disappear. If he wants longevity and the chance to be a special player, now is the time to learn proper footwork (offense and defense), ball handling, and offensive moves.

Steve Blake: A -
One of those guys that makes the most of what they've got. A solid teammate, low mistake, good character guy, Blake is a great substitution player. Give him 20 to 25 minutes a night off the bench and you're going to get average to slightly above average defense, high intensity, low turnover play at the point. Also, the ability to consistently hit an open 3 keeps defenses honest.
-- Homework: No summer school for Blake. The homework here belongs to the Blazers who need that starting PG. Blake isn't the long term solution, but this is his second stint with us and he belongs with the Blazers.

Martell Webster: B -
Probably the toughest to grade due to inconsistency. But I give Martell a bit of a pass on this because the 2 and 3 positions have had little consistency from a PT standpoint. I get the feeling Martell is one of those guys who needs to know his role before he can settle into it and we certainly haven't given him that this year. However, he hasn't taken the opportunity to step in and let his play demand attention either. But the biggest consideration here should be this: HE'S ONLY 21! He came straight out of high school and he's had a lot of expectations put on him. There is absolutely no reason to give up on this kid, especially considering the way he was playing just before the diagnosis of the heart condition.
-- Homework: Take care of the ticker. Once that's under control, and there's no reason to believe it will be an ongoing issue, work on defensive consistency and offensive Xs and Os. Everything else is maturation and staying in shape.

Joel Przybilla: B -
You might make the argument that he's making the most of what he's got, too. I ain't buyin' it. Joel is a defensive presence but an offensive liability. I can't count the number of easy feeds he's received that have bounced off his hands or he's thrown off the backboard at 90 m.p.h. I get it, he has no touch. The solution is to develop 2 power moves that get you in a position to dunk the ball rather than trying to lay it up. Przy has the size and the lenght to do this so you have to wonder why it hasn't been more of a focus. I might have been willing to raise his grade a little if we weren't paying so much for a one dimensional player, even though it's not his fault he took the money offered him.
-- Homework: We know what the future holds for Joel; a highly paid defensive specialist in the court of King Oden. Joel's job will be enforcer and I hope he takes to it with relish. Give him 15 minutes a game and the following instructions, "See how (insert name here) has been abusing us? You've got 6 fouls, make 'em count."

Channing Frye: revised to B+ based on extra credit
Double double in 3 of last 4 and shooting 64%; that's how you entice a team to keep you around after an inconsistent year. Frye is a glue guy, so much so that I formally suggest a nickname like Bond-O. Good character, basketball smarts, into the community, great teammate...oh, and not too shabby on the floor when given consistent direction. But you want him on your team because of the things he does the box score doesn't reflect.
-- Homework: Tone up a little so you can bang a bit coming off the bench for Aldridge next year. Keep up the conditioning and study defenses.

Jarrett Jack: D+
Hey, I'm not down on Jack. I don't personally dislike the guy. This is just business. So let's let the numbers do the talking. 1.69 assist to turnover ratio. 16th in the league in turnovers per 48 minutes. 9.7 PPG. Is Jack a PG? If so, he's obviously not taking care of the ball enough. The turnover ratio isn't even top 50 league wide for PGs. Is he an undersized SG? 9.7 PPG is 112th in the NBA, not exactly what you're looking for even from a bench player. Yes, he can be a sparkplug sometimes. But he just as often disappears or has a turnover at a crucial moment. He just doesn't fit our system, doesn't fit the team, and doesn't contribute anything we can't get elsewhere.
-- Homework: Make sure you don't just wrap the glasses in newspaper, you have to crumple newspaper and stuff it inside, too. That's how you keep it from breaking. And I can recommend a good real estate agent if you need one.

James Jones: Incomplete
Jones is intriguing for a number of reasons. His obvious calling card is 3 point shooting but with a little work he could be a sneaky defender. He's already got the long reach and surprising size, now he just needs someone to mentor him with all the little tricks. I've already seen him use some, like setting screens with the leg hitched out just a little bit to create an inch more space, or using a hip to box an offensive player out of bounds on the baseline so there's a better chance for an advantage on the break. Injuries sidelined him too much to grade his contribution, but he was a key component of the Blazer 17 out of 18 streak in December/January.
-- Homework: Keep learning those sneaky defensive moves (Maurice Lucas anyone?) and don't lose the conditioning so there's no added stress to the knee.

Sergio Rodriguez: Incomplete
Everyone seems to like Sergio's passion and personality. But he certainly hasn't played his way into more PT and it's hard to argue against that decision. Talk amongst us has revolved around whether or not we're going to keep him to help Rudy Fernandez adjust a little easier. Either way, unless he gets consistent minutes, and more of them, he's not going to be a Blazer much longer. My question to you, package him now before Rudy bonds with him or keep him to help Rudy adjust?
-- Homework: Study defense and pray.

Raef LaFrentz : No grade
We all know why we have Raef. Now, I like him and always have; watched him play in Denver from '98 to '02 when he was averaging 13 and 8, 2 to 3 blocks, and hitting about 40% from 3. He was good, which is why he got the contract that's costing us 12 mil a year. He's either giving us a ton of cap room next summer or he's gettting traded for his expiring contract. Either way, time and injuries have caught up with Raef and he's all but done. I know he's been the butt of a joke for the past 6 years but *sniff* I'm gonna miss the guy.
-- Homework: Help Jack pack and get us a damn PG!

Josh McRoberts: No grade
McBob's job description: Don't hurt anyone and stay best friends with Oden.
-- Homework: Don't hurt anyone and stay best friends with Oden.

Von Wafer: No grade
Coolest name in the NBA, by far. He sounds like a secret agent for the Keebler elves. This guy could develop into a dead shooter and I hope he gets the chance. But I don't think it will be with this team. Godspeed, Von Wafer.
-- Homework: Watch out for Vesper Lynd, she'll betray you.

Greg Oden: No grade
You know what, Greg? Be a kid for as long as you can. People will try to rip that away from you soon enough, but just keep on being Greg as long as it fits you. Eventually you'll have the desire to turn into Gregzilla, the unstoppable force. Until then, know that this town loves you and can't wait to see you on the floor next year.
-- Homework: Stay away from DDR and pickup games at Bally's.

Darius Miles: F
Goodbye.

Congratulations if you made it through all that. Frankly, I wouldn't have read all my drivel. Feel free to comment. Who knows, I might single you out on the next show...

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