Wednesday, May 7, 2008

So there I was, taking a leak, when...

...some guy walks in and starts using the urinal next to me.

We all know the code: look straight ahead or straight down, no chatter, no more than three shakes. I'm staring at the wall when I hear the guy say, "Nice hat."

I'm wearing my ubiquitous Blazers cap, salt stained from being worn every game during our undefeated softball run last summer. I respond, "Yeah, I like it. It's nice having a team I can actually root for."

The guy says something affirming my statement as I zip up and head to the sink. Something about the way he talked made me glance over at him and I'm sure glad I did.

I think I know who this is, but I need another look so I take my sweet time at the sink waiting for him to walk over so I can get another look.

When he heads over I ask, "I'm going to kick myself if I don't say something, so are you Kevin Pritchard?"

"Yes I am."

Awesome.

Okay, think fast, what do you want to say to the saviour of your franchise? Do you ask him if Rudy will be playing here next year? Are we pursuing a quality pass first PG during the off season? Does he want to come on your public access sports show? Can he really walk on water?

"Thanks. Thanks for putting a team out there we can believe in." Okay, not too bad. At least I manage to be coherent.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me. They're a great bunch of kids."

"I agree. Well, have a great evening."

"You, too."

Thus concludes my interview with the GM of the Portland Trailblazers, Kevin Pritchard. Chalk another one up for the journalistic instincts of my bladder.

7 comments:

Chris said...

You blew it! You just missed your chance to ask for a complimentary party suite night at a game next season. No seriously, that was a great story. If only I was so lucky to have a local celeb standing next to me at the urinal some time. Usually "nice hat" has a whole other meaning. Senator Larry Craig from Idaho would be able to confirm this.

P.R. said...

Doug Butabi: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.

Steve Butabi: Yeah, he was, seriously.

Doug Butabi: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.

Steve Butabi: And who do you think that guy was?

Doug Butabi: Emilio Estevez.

Steve Butabi: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.

Doug Butabi: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.

Steve Butabi: I was like, "Emilio."

Jaybill McCarthy said...

I dispute your use of the word "ubiquitous" in that context. ;)

Loren said...

Chris, if I hadn't been wearing a hat I would have been deeply disturbed. Thankfully there was no foot tapping involved.

Jaybill, I admit I'm stretching it a bit. Howsabout we call it hyperbole? :)

2-Man Weave said...
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2-Man Weave said...
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2-Man Weave said...

Fantastic experience. I always fantasize about what I'd say to famous people if I met them. Chances are, it would go something like this:

Me: Are you OJ Simpson?

OJ: Yes, I am.

Me: You are... I can't... How did... (sigh)
I really loved you in "Naked Gun."